Update

I am planning a change for this blog.

I'd rather write in Italian, and stop trying to be politically correct.

We'll see. I also have a penchant for verbally abusive blogs, and am quite good at it myself (the verbal abuse). English is too sublime a language for what I really want to say.

Anyway: I'm going back to The Cold Country in three weeks, where I'll stay till the new year and I will eat MEAT at every meal: cow meat, pork meat, turkey meat, boar meat, moose meat (delicious), hopefully even whale meat.

And I will drink, and I will go out after dark on my own (ooooh...) and I will be able to walk the streets without fucking retards calling me pussy or suggesting I sucked their cock.

In the meantime, I'll keep you (who? there are no readers) posted.

Morning glory

This morning I woke up exhausted, after enduring eight hours of deafening fireworks last night; it was Diwali, the fesitval of lights, which as far as I could see consists of buying sweets, eating a big meal with the family, and then going out shooting crackers all night. It was like being in a warzone, the explosions so loud it was impossible to do anything like talking, reading, watching TV.

I hated this place with all my heart last night.

So anyway; I make coffee and I am pacing the terrace looking at several cracker butts scattered all over the floor. Then I look up and I see, on the roof, two large monkeys staring at me. The male start fucking the female and laughing at me. Well, morning sex is supposed to be good for you, isn't it? Then the two monkeys jump down on the neighbour's roof and the male, after uncovering the water tank, starts his ablutions. He washes his legs, his crotch, his face.

I am quite taken by the sight, feeling like I am watching some documentary about urban monkeys. Suddenly they both jump to my terrace, getting very close to me: I wisely retreat into the bedroom and watch them from behind the door. Wisely because before I know it, the male stares at me again, then starts messing with my plants, fiddling with the soil, pulling away the leaves... and then he charges towards me!

I slam the door in time.

I can hear they are playing havoc with the furniture, overturning the table. I hear the glasses shattered on the floor, and the monkeys' insouciant screech.

I have spent at least half an hour locked in my room, terrified. When I finally got out, the terrace looked like a mess, but thankfully the fuckers were gone.

Can anyone please get me out of here, please?

Newsround

A quick review of some of the past week's news from this burgeoning superpower:

Big events: Delhi is set to host the 2010 Commonwealth Games, starting exactly one year from today. The preparations for the games are so behind that the president of the commission (an Australian) warned India that if it goes on like this, the whole thing will fail. He urged India to take in foreign experts who could implement an effective management plan, and he even asked to meet India's Prime Minister personally to talk about the dismal situation. The reply from Delhi's powerful ones: we do not need any external help on this. If the work has been a bit slow (with only one year left, it is estimated that only about 20% of the hospitality structures are in place) it is because we are a democracy.

Public transport: the buses called 'Blueline' (which are in fact green, but this is India) killed about 100 people this year. The latest case is that of a student who was hanging half outside the overcrowded bus, as it's customary over here, when said bus hit another parked vehicle, smashing the head of the student. The driver has been charged with 'negligent driving'.

Modern love: a young guy wanted to marry a 16 year old girl, who rejected him repeatedly. Unfortunately, the girl's family had agreed to the marriage, but the obstinate girl still refused. Angry and frustrated, the guy showed up at the girl's house, attacked her, abused her and forced her to drink acid in front of her relatives, who didn't do a thing.

Note that news like this are reported everyday in the paper. Everyday. In fact, right now police are questioning the family of a young woman who died in mysterious circumstances a couple of days ago, and was immediately cremated: it transpired that the woman had married a guy from a different caste without the family's approval. As preventive measure, anyhow, the husband has been put in jail.

Shoppers' delight: in case you don't know, India is big on security measures. Every time you enter the metro, a cinema or a shopping mall, you have to pass through a metal detector and your bag is searched for dangerous items.

Police have run a security test in 13 malls in Gurgaon (a suburb of Delhi) using plainclothes policemen, armed with guns, detonators and knives. The result? None was caught. They all managed to pass the security and even leave the fake bomb packages around the mall without anyone detecting what was going on.

Have a nice weekend!